FIC: Disquisition (Bradley/Colin)

[dysonrules]

While submitting prompts for the merlins_muse fest, I thought of one and decided to keep it for myself.  And then it sort of spewed out.  Thanks to phoenixacid and byaghro for the speed betas. 

 

Your lips look soft as rose petals and sweet as clover honey.  I can hardly wait to sample your sweet flavour.

 

Bradley read the text message on his phone for the fourth time and checked the sender again, just to make certain it was actually from Colin.  Colin, who sat just across the way, leaning back in his chair with one ankle resting on his knee and his head thrown back as he laughed at something Katie had said, looking casual as the day was long.

 

Your lips look soft as rose petals…  It had to be a ruddy joke.  Damn Colin.  Bradley scowled.  But why?

 

Thank you, he sent finally, I pride myself on judicious use of lip balm.  Mint-flavoured, for the record.

 

There.  That would let the prat know that he was onto his silly prank.  His eyes narrowed as he watched Colin sit up with a start, obviously alerted by the buzzing of his phone.  Colin flipped open his phone and read the message, but instead of looking over at Bradley, he only grinned and began to type.  When finished, he tucked the phone away and gestured at Katie with his hands as he continued their conversation, not even glancing Bradley’s way.  It was perplexing.

 

Bradley’s phone vibrated and he looked at the message.  Peppermint or spearmint?  Or would you like me to guess after our first kiss?

 

Kiss?  Bradley’s brows drew down and he stared at Colin without actually staring at him, which he had become quite adept at by lowering his head and peering through his lashes.  Colin paid him no mind whatsoever, seeming enraptured by Katie’s chatter.  Kiss?

 

Bradley decided it would have been more amusing if it had made a lick of sense.  Colin’s cryptic messages and talk of kissing and rose-petal lips had come from nowhere.  This morning they had been discussing inanities such as the weather and the amount of fabric it had taken to create Katie’s latest billowing Morgana dress.

 

There had been nothing at all to warrant an odd conversation about kissing.  Still, Bradley didn’t want to appear gullible.  Colin would not be able to poke fun at him as long as he went along with it, bizarre though it was.

 

You’ve been thinking about this kissing business quite a lot, it seems.  When do you plan for this momentous event to occur?

 

Bradley felt a bit smug when he hit the SEND button.  Take that, Morgan.  I’ll see your ridiculous bluff and raise you another, he thought.

 

Katie rose and walked away to join Angel for their next scene.  Colin fished his phone from a pocket and read the message with a wide grin.  For the first time, he looked up and directly at Bradley.  Colin lifted a hand and waved.  Bradley smirked.  Colin typed, shut his phone, and then got to his feet and headed toward Bradley.

 

Bradley’s phone buzzed and he quickly read the message.  As soon as possible.  When will you be available?

 

Bradley snorted as Colin neared.  “I’m available right now, Morgan,” he said in a voice that contained a healthy dose of lechery.

 

Colin blinked at him.  “Available for what?  Is that another new phone?  You realize they release those once a month just for idiots like you who run out immediately to purchase them.”

 

Bradley was thrown off-balance by the subject change.  He had expected Colin to carry on with the phone conversation.  “Yes, it’s new.  I showed it to you yesterday when I entered my new number into your phone.  You realize you have no memory?”

 

To Bradley’s surprise, a faint blush tinted Colin’s cheeks.  “Oh yes.  I remember.  I was distracted yesterday.  Have you met Dana?”

 

Bradley sighed.  Trying to keep up with Colin some days was like running a mental obstacle course.  “Dana who?” he asked.

 

Colin grinned.  “Never mind.  I think I’d rather you not meet her.  Come on, William is gesturing wildly at us.  Time to do the parapet scene.  At least it’s not raining.  Yet.”  Colin ambled off and Bradley hurried after him.

 

“Dana who?” he asked again, but Colin only chuckled in return.

 

The “parapet scene” involved Bradley standing quite close to Colin in order that Merlin and Arthur could have one of their serious, heartfelt chats.  For the first time, Bradley found himself watching Colin’s mouth as he spoke.  Your lips look soft as rose petals, he thought and blushed.

 

Of course they had to redo the scene because Arthur was supposed to be annoyed instead of looking at Merlin with his “love face” as Katie called it when she wanted to irritate him.  Colin’s resulting smirk helped keep Bradley on track and he resolutely refused to focus on Colin’s (lips) cheekbones or (eyelashes) any other part of Colin’s (chiseled) uninteresting face. 

 

Colin clapped him on the shoulder and meandered off when the scene was finished, leaving Bradley to stare after him with a half-dozen questions on his lips, chief among them still, “Dana who?”

 

A few minutes after Colin disappeared, Bradley’s phone buzzed.  He fished it out of his pouch—useful place to keep it when dressed as Arthur—and looked at the message.

 

Did you get my previous text?  Or are you no longer available?  Change your mind about me already?

 

Bradley scrolled up to make sure Colin’s last text had been When will you be available? and then typed his reply:  I am always available for you, Colin, you sexy man muffin.  Bradley sent it and snorted a laugh.  That should amuse the prat.

 

“Bradley, go fetch Colin!  We need to do the scene again.  Sound picked up a hum.”

 

Bradley sighed and loped down the stairs to find Colin on the landing looking at his phone with a perplexed expression.  Bradley grinned at him and waited for the ribbing.  “Morgan, we’re wanted upstairs.  I get to yell at you again.”

 

Colin nodded absently and pocketed his phone.  He joined Bradley and glanced at him as they headed for the steps.  “Are all girls mental, do you think?”

 

Bradley made a huffing sound.  “You can ask me that after meeting Angel and Katie?”

 

Colin gave him a conspiratorial grin.  “I don’t think those two are girls.  More like evil succubae.”

 

Bradley pulled out his phone.  “I am making a note of that for future blackmail.”  He started to type and Colin snatched the phone from his hand and jogged up several risers, chuckling.

 

“They’ll upgrade this phone in three days and you won’t figure out how to make notes until it’s too late—and by then you won’t remember,” Colin said.

 

“Give me that!” Bradley said gruffly and snatched at Colin, missing by a hair.

 

Colin stopped suddenly and Bradley bumped into them.  Colin twisted and sat down hard on the steps, but his attention was on Bradley’s phone.  Bradley sprawled partly over him and caught himself by jamming his hands onto the stone.  His chin brushed against Colin’s hair and Bradley caught a whiff of it, smelling of shampoo and something he recognized as distinctly Colin.  He sat down heavily next to Colin, nursing his bruised palm.

 

“Is this really a good time to sit?” Bradley demanded, but Colin glared at him.

 

“How did you get this?” he asked.

 

Bradley frowned and reached for his phone, but Colin yanked away and held it out of his reach.  “I bought it at the electronics store in Cardiff, of course.  You should know—”

 

“Not the phone!” Colin snapped.  “This!”  He thrust the phone at Bradley, who read Colin’s last message again:  Did you get my previous text?  Or are you no longer available?  Change your mind about me already?

 

Bradley snatched the phone with a growl.  “I already replied, prat!  Now come on.  They’ll come looking for us if we don’t get this scene finished and I would like to go to bed before dawn, for once.”  Bradley got to his feet and waited for Colin, who stood up.  Colin’s brow wrinkled and he looked deep in thought.

 

Bradley shook his head and hurried back to the parapet.  Colin followed at a slow pace, but Bradley took the browbeating for dawdling.  Colin was seldom rebuked, a fact that would have annoyed Bradley but for the fact that it was Colin.  Kicking a cute puppy would be easier. 

 

The scene went quicker this time because Colin seemed thoughtful, far more fitting for Merlin than Colin’s prior amusement.  When they (finally) finished, Bradley was tired, hungry, and ready to tear off his bloody costume and lie on a soft bed wearing only his pants.  He tromped down the steps with Colin next to him.

 

“So,” Colin said.  “I was sending you the texts about…you know?  Kissing and stuff?”

 

Bradley shifted his glance to Colin.  “Yeah, of course you were.  Who did you think you—?”

 

Suddenly it all gelled.  “Oh god.  You didn’t mean to send them to me at all.”

 

Colin shook his head, looking sheepish.  “I put Dana’s number in my phone and then you put your number in my phone and I forgot about yours and thought it was hers…”

 

Bradley nodded, suddenly wanting only to escape Colin and the crushing realization that Colin had not been having him on with a teasing game about kissing, of all things, but had, in fact, never intended to text him at all.  And who the fuck was Dana?

 

“Well.”  Colin grinned, but he seemed as uncomfortable as Bradley felt.  “It explains the ‘man muffin’ comment, at any rate.  That one had me puzzled.”

 

Despite his awkwardness, Bradley grinned, thinking of Colin’s reaction upon seeing the words and thinking they were from some girl.  Bradley’s smile fled.  Some girl that Colin fantasized about kissing.  “I’m going to…”  Bradley jerked a thumb toward the tent where Costuming had set up.  Colin nodded and Bradley jogged away.

 

Some time later, clad once more in jeans, t-shirt, and a black jacket, he ambled toward the van that waited to take them back to the hotel.  He climbed inside only to find Colin already there, sitting in the rearmost seat.  Bradley hesitated.  He always sat next to Colin.  To sit somewhere else would look odd.

 

Mentally kicking himself for acting like an idiot, Bradley made his way to the seat and threw himself next to Colin, feeling like he was playing a part.  Acting casual.  And he was careful not to touch Colin, even with an elbow.

 

Colin had his phone out and was pressing the buttons with his thumbs.  Bradley made a point of not looking at him, instead rummaging in his knapsack for a bottle of water and pretending to be immensely thirsty.  He wondered if Colin was texting Dana and using the same lines he had used—accidentally—on Bradley.  Your lips look soft as rose petals and sweet as clover honey.  The idea made something twist in his gut and he took a swig from the water bottle, hoping it was just indigestion.

 

Their driver shut the doors and walked around to hop in behind the wheel.  The girls must have taken an earlier ride.

 

Colin slipped his phone into a pocket of his hoodie and smiled at Bradley.

 

“Finally reached your girl?” Bradley asked and managed to sound, hopefully, not the slightest bit jealous, because he wasn’t.

 

Colin looked away and shook his head.  “No, mum.  I think I passed my window of opportunity with Dana.  She’ll be wondering why I haven’t texted her yet and thinking I’m an arse.”

 

Bradley rolled his eyes.  “You’re Colin Morgan.  You could wait a month and she would be squealing like a… a… pram wheel.  Or something that squeals.”

 

“A baby pig?” Ernest, the driver piped up.

 

Bradley threw Colin a pained look, thinking it unlikely that Colin would appreciate his future date being compared to anything porcine, not that a pram wheel was particularly flattering.

 

“Thank you, Ernest,” Colin said dryly.

 

Ernest smiled and sent the van rocketing down the bumpy lane.  A jolt sent Bradley nearly out of the seat, so he quickly grabbed his seatbelt and locked himself in.  Colin was already strapped.

 

“So, who is this girl?” Bradley asked when they were nearly back to the hotel, unable to stand it.

 

Colin shrugged.  “Just someone I met yesterday on set.  She’s new.  Works with the horses and the stunt doubles.”

 

Bradley nodded in what he hoped was an interested fashion and then turned away and pretended to be fascinated by the countryside, even though he had seen it ten dozen times by then.  Colin said nothing.

 

When they reached the hotel, Bradley was out of his seat and wrenching open the door almost before the van rolled to a stop.  He needed to get to his room and sort things out.

 

“G’night, Ernest,” Colin said behind him.

 

Bradley winced and stopped, subconsciously rebuked by Colin’s words.  Bradley hated to be rude, and Colin never was.  Bradley turned and waved.  “Goodnight, Ernest!  And thanks.”

 

Ernest raised a hand as Colin shut the door.  He turned around before Bradley could escape.  An awkward, twisted smile curved Colin’s mouth and Bradley blurted, “Well, good luck with Miss Rose Petal and Clover Lips.  See you tomorrow.”

 

Bradley spun around and walked toward the hotel door.  As he reached for the handle, Colin’s hand reached over his shoulder and pushed it shut.  “Hey, Bradley?”

 

Bradley shut his eyes and wondered what he had done to deserve Colin Morgan, who had apparently been placed on the earth solely to torment him in various ways.  “Yes, Colin?” he asked, tugging at the door, but Colin’s palm rested against the glass, keeping it closed.

 

“You said are always available for me.  Did you mean that?”

 

Bradley turned round to stare at him.

 

At that moment a woman leading a small boy by the hand approached the door from the inside.  Colin took his hand away and they both stepped aside to allow the pair to pass.  She smiled at them and the boy said, “Hi!”

 

Bradley gave the boy a friendly hello and gratefully slipped inside the door and across the lobby, giving a halfhearted wave to the clerk who greeted them.  Their rooms were on the third floor and the elevators were notoriously slow, so Bradley opted for the stairs.  For some reason, the thought of being trapped in an elevator with Colin was terrifying.  And what the hell was Colin about asking such a ridiculous question?

 

He heard Colin enter the stairwell after him, but he didn’t pause, taking the steps two at a time until he exited onto his floor and hurried down the hall to his room.  There he was trapped by his inability to remember where he had left his room key.  Fuck, it was in his knapsack somewhere, right?  He slung it off his shoulder and began to root through it.

 

Colin’s room was next to his and the prat already had his key in hand.  They were the old-fashioned metal sort and not the new plastic credit-card jobs.  The old hotel had miraculously installed satellite television and even had wireless internet service, but they had not completely caught up with modern technology.

 

The outer pocket disclosed no key so Bradley wrenched open the zip and began to search the inside.  Colin opened his door, but paused before entering.  “Need some help there, James?”

 

“No,” Bradley snapped, more sharply than he’d intended.

 

Colin nodded.  “Okay.  Goodnight, then.”  He went inside and the door closed behind him.  Bradley felt like banging his head against his own stubbornly locked door.  Had he imagined the hurt look in Colin’s eyes?  Bradley had never answered Colin’s question, either, even though the reply should have been glaringly obvious.

 

A few minutes later he knocked on Colin’s door.

 

“It’s open!” Colin called.

 

Bradley turned the handle and went inside.  Colin was on the bed, shoes off, with his back nestled in a pile of pillows propped against the headboard.  A book sat beside him, unopened.

 

“I can’t find my sodding key,” Bradley admitted.

 

Colin patted the bed.  “Come dump your bag.  It’s got to be in there, yeah?  Unless you left it in your room.”

 

Bradley perched on the edge of the bed and began to take items out.  His mostly-empty water bottle, an uneaten package of crisps and two energy bars, a t-shirt that he’d thrown in there two days ago and kept forgetting to remove, three partially-crumpled scripts, four maps, the book he read between shoots… 

 

“Do you ever take anything out or just put in?” Colin asked in amusement.

 

Bradley gave him a two-fingered salute and Colin laughed.  He got to his knees and moved closer.

 

“Let me help,” he said and pushed his fingers into the smallest outer pocket.  His forehead nearly bumped into Bradley’s and Bradley pulled back for a moment, startled.  Colin’s expression was intense, focused on his task.  His lips pursed in concentration.  Soft as rose petals, Bradley thought.

 

Bradley nudged him with an elbow.  “Man muffin,” he said.

 

Colin’s blue eyes rose and fixed on him as his lips curved into a brilliant smile.  “Mint flavoured, you say?”  His tone was teasing, but something between them seemed to crackle, thickening the air and making it hard for Bradley to breathe.

 

Bradley nodded and watched as Colin’s head tipped to one side and he drew nearer and nearer until his lips brushed against Bradley’s.  He wasn’t sure if Colin’s lips were soft as rose petals, but they were soft enough, and a bit wet, and felt utterly amazing, especially when they coaxed Bradley’s apart to allow Colin’s tongue to trace over his top lip.

 

Colin pulled away slowly and Bradley blinked as he struggled to focus.  Colin’s brow wrinkled.  “I don’t taste any mint.”

 

Bradley frowned.  “That’s funny.”

 

“Should I try again?” Colin asked.

 

“Yeah.  Gotta be there somewhere.”

 

Colin’s hand tangled in Bradley’s hair and their lips met again, more fiercely this time.

 

Sometime later, Bradley came up for air, pushing Colin’s face back so that he could breathe.  Colin’s lips might not have been rose-petal soft, but they were definitely rose-petal red.  Colin was wrapped around him and parts of him were pleasantly hard against parts of Bradley that were also pleasantly hard.  He hoped there would be chances for exploration of that in the future, though he dared not even hope for it at the moment.

 

Bradley scowled.  “Do you still plan to text that Dana girl?”

 

“Dana who?” Colin replied and broke Bradley’s grip in order to return to his quest for mint flavouring.  Good answer, Bradley thought and let him in.