I NEED FIC FOR THIS RIGHT NOW MEME

Okay, so I ran across this pic and it made me alternately LOL and then drool for five minutes, and I don't have time to write at the moment *kicks job* so I'm asking my lovely f-list to step up to the plate and GIVE ME FIC.  Oh yeah, and the link isn't terribly worksafe and if you're reading my journal at work ARE YOU CRAZY?

Here is the PIC.

Now give me ficcage that explains who he is and how he got that way.  I don't care what fandom it is and you can even conjure up an original character, if you like.

Feel free to write your fic in the comments below.