Twitterporn Part XIX

[dysonrules]

Sorry this is late! *huggles of apology*

CLICK THE LINK AND SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM TO READ. If you missed Part I it's HERE.

PART TWENTY

slytherinsexgod  I thought you'd never ask.

Aurorsupreme  There, bride & groom in place. Proper apologies made. Kingsley appeased. Let's get out of here. I need a good shag right about now.

Aurorsupreme  Tell Theo I didn't exactly mean for the cameras to explode like that. I'm sure Mungo's can fix those burns.

slytherinsexgod  I'm sure the Reverend will come out from beneath that table with the proper coaxing.

slytherinsexgod  I have your poor groom and look! Someone has roused the bride's mother. See? All is not lost!

slytherinsexgod  Actually, you might want to wrest those away from him. I wouldn't put it past him to sell them to the tabloids himself.

slytherinsexgod  Oh, too late on that reporter, Potter. Blaise got him for you. Oh look, Theo is confiscating the cameras.

Aurorsupreme  And if one more buggering reporter takes my picture I'll HEX THEM MYSELF!?!?!?

Aurorsupreme  There is mayhem in the reception hall, you're chasing down the groom. I'll probably have to foot the bill for their honeymoon in apology.

Aurorsupreme  Instead Kingsley is shouting something about suspension, the bride is STILL passed out on the lawn (that really IS a hideous color).

Aurorsupreme  I intended to stay for a few hours before slipping away with you to start working on that list of yours.

Aurorsupreme  I do NOT have everything under control. I thought I was going to a nice, formal affair with my boyfriend.

slytherinsexgod  Bloody hell, do Kingsley's temple veins always bulge like that? Oh look, there is the groom now. Trying to find a Portkey. I'll get him.

slytherinsexgod  Well, you can see how the bride will end up. Lying on the grass in a mound of chartreuse fabric.

slytherinsexgod  I'll go find your lost groom, although fleeing is probably the smartest thing he's done today, considering how his bride will probably end up.

slytherinsexgod  All right, damn it, just wipe that look of panic off your face and at least pretend you have things under control.

Aurorsupreme  Oh no! If we've lost the groom Kingsley might just fire... and here he comes now. I'm in SO much trouble.

Aurorsupreme  Granted, Pansy would hex anyone who caused this much chaos. And Hermione would have strict wards in place. Now someone ELSE is screaming.

Aurorsupreme  Pretty sure the bride was in Hufflepuff, but that is beside the point. We've turned her wedding into a circus.

Aurorsupreme  Does Greg always knock people down when reaching for food? Nevermind, I know the answer to that question.

slytherinsexgod  Actually, where is the groom? He was beside those atrocious faux columns a moment ago. I'll bet he used the chaos as a cover to flee!

slytherinsexgod  Can you imagine someone causing a ruckus at Pansy's wedding, or even Granger's, and living to tell the tale? The poor groom. What a...

slytherinsexgod  Oh dear, now the bloody bride is crying. She is definitely no Slytherin, or even Gryffindor.

slytherinsexgod  I'm sure Greg didn't mean to punch him. He gets a bit carried away. I think he was just reaching for a canape.

Aurorsupreme  Merlin Draco! That was the groom's father! And why did Greg just punch that waiter? Godric, this is turning into a fiasco.

Aurorsupreme  Granted the bride looked fairly relieved when her mother collapsed. But still!

 

Aurorsupreme  TWENTY!?! You invited twenty of your friends to crash this poor girl's wedding? What were you thinking?????

slytherinsexgod  Whoops, apparently he did. He should still be able to use his wand hand in a month or two...

slytherinsexgod  At least now she can be mistaken for a piece of furniture. Oh no, tell me that man did NOT try to cast a Stunner on Pansy.

slytherinsexgod  And the bride's mother looks better comatose, frankly. That much tulle in one place should be banned.

slytherinsexgod  Surely half of Slytherin isn't here. No more than twenty, I'd say.

Aurorsupreme  So much for keeping a low profile.

Aurorsupreme  Oh great, the bride's mother is apparently terrified of turtles. She just screamed, tripped over a chair & collapsed into a sobbing heap.

Aurorsupreme  That does NOT mean I wanted you to invite half of Slytherin & have them throw hexes willy nilly.

Aurorsupreme  I was concerned about reporters & photographers overwhelming you on our first foray into the public arena.

slytherinsexgod  Did Pans really turn her into a turtle? Oh, I see she did! Fabulous, I shall have to commend her spellwork!

slytherinsexgod  I know you were concerned about the reporters and photographers, so I asked Pansy and Blaise and Greg to sort of keep an eye out for them.

slytherinsexgod  Well, it's slightly possible I asked a couple of my friends to come to this function.

Aurorsupreme  Why is she coming at me with her wand out? And WHY DID SHE JUST HEX THE REPORTER INTO A TURTLE????? What's going on?

Aurorsupreme  I'm chatting with some silly reporter from Witch Weekly. She keeps blathering on about.... wait, that IS Parkinson!!

Aurorsupreme  You have yet to cause me to regret offering you promises of that particular nature.

slytherinsexgod  Hmmm. She does rather look like Pansy, doesn't she? Who is that you're chatting with?

slytherinsexgod  Double favours? You are rather foolish in handing out promises.

 

Aurorsupreme  Oh, and thank you for laying out my robes and wrestling with my hair. I owe you double favors. :)

Aurorsupreme  Hey, that girl sitting to the left of Edward Finklebump looks just like Pansy Parkinson.

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Aurorsupreme  I ALWAYS keep my promises Schnookums. And I like several of the ideas on pages 4 & 5. You were particularly innovative with the spa.

slytherinsexgod  Now hurry up, before I change my mind. Oh and I've made a list for your "making it up" to me. It's six pages.

slytherinsexgod  Fine, I'll accompany you to this ridiculous event, I'll remember everyones' names for you, and I'll try to uphold your Fabled Status.

slytherinsexgod  You and your damned promises would be getting old if you weren't so good at remembering them and following through.

Aurorsupreme  I promise to make it up to you later though. *leer*

Aurorsupreme  How my boss can make the wedding of Ministry officials "mandatory" I'll never know, but it apparently is.

Aurorsupreme  I'm on my way, I promise! And as tempting as your offer is, Kingsley said this one is mandatory.

 

slytherinsexgod  My wand is ready to attempt to tame that mop you call hair. Of course, if you're too late, we can stay home...

 

 

 

 

slytherinsexgod  You just need to bloody well get here.

 

 

 

 

slytherinsexgod  For Salazar's sake, Potter, your robes are laid out on the bed already, your shoes are ready, and the invitation is in hand.

 

 

 

 

Aurorsupreme  Could you pull out my robes for me? I couldn't find the right tie this morning. And I know you're picky about how I'm dressed. :)

 

 

 

 

Aurorsupreme  Not that I don't want to arrive with you but the wedding starts in twenty minutes and I'll never be ready in time.

 

 

 

 

Aurorsupreme  Sorry, got pulled into a meeting. On my way now. If you want to go ahead I can catch up with you there.