Kissy Fic (Oneshot - Teddy/James)

[dysonrules]

I spammed the hell out of Twitter the other day writing this mini-fic and then promptly forgot it until reminded this morning. *grin* Many thanks to digitallace and Julie whose damned LJ name I can never remember. *HUGGLES*  Oddly, I only lost three followers (and gained six) with the spamathon.  *amused grin*

James leaned back in the chair and crossed his long legs. He grinned at Teddy, although it seemed more like a smirk. "Hullo, Teddy. I haven't seen you since Christmas. You're looking fit. Is this a social visit?"

Teddy kept his hair sedately brown with effort. There was something about James that always put him on edge. And James obviously knew it.

"You know why I'm here. They would have sent Harlan, but he's off getting married, so my name was next on the roster. No asking for special favours, either," Teddy warned. "Just because we're practically related."

"Just because you lived with us for most of my childhood doesn't make you a relative, Teddy. What sort of favours am I not to request?"

Teddy flushed. "Any sort of favours!" Bloody hell, trust James to make this more difficult than it needed to be. "Just show me the paperwork," Teddy said, trying not to be snappish. This was his job, after all, and he was supposed to be professional.

James got to his feet, moving with feline grace that always made Teddy feel more clumsy than he normally was. "You know I always cooperate with the Committee on Experimental Charms," James said. "But you know I'm working on a dozen right now."

Teddy almost groaned aloud. A dozen! He would be here for days, going over the details of each spell. James slung a companionable arm around Teddy's shoulders and Teddy noted that the bastard even smelled wonderful.

"Come along, Teddy, I've set you up with your very own workspace in my office where you can pore over reports to your heart's content."

James was insufferably cheerful. Oddly enough, Teddy was usually the cheerful one, except around James. "Your office?" Teddy repeated.

"Yes, so that I can keep a very close eye on you," James said in a muted tone, gripping Teddy's chin with his fingers and staring at him.

Teddy shoved him away with a laugh, feeling his tension ease. What was he worried about, anyway? James was a prat to everyone.

Teddy was soon seated in a hard wooden chair before a table stacked with multiple heavy files. James leaned over him to take one. "I'd start here," James said. "Lusty Licorice. It contains an experimental long-lasting Libido Charm. Would you like to try a piece?"

"No!" Teddy said and was alarmed to hear his voice reach such a high pitch.

James chuckled in his ear and his chest was warm against Teddy's back. He definitely needed no Libido Charm with James Potter around.

"Your hair has gone green, Teddy," James said in an amused tone. He lifted a hand and ruffled it lightly. "And now pink. It's adorable."

Teddy forced his hair back to brown. He coughed. "Thank you, James. I can handle it from here." He cringed, waiting for James to comment on "handling" but for once the man restrained himself.

James moved across the room. "All right, then. Let me know if you need anything." Teddy glanced at him. He did not even have to turn his head completely to see James, who sat in profile facing the opposite direction. James grinned at him, catching the look. "Need something already?"

"Tea," Teddy blurted. "Or coffee. I can get it. Is there a kitchen?"

"I'll get it for you, Teddy. Don't worry, I know how you like it." James got to his feet and went out. Teddy's forehead hit the desk.

By the time James returned, Teddy had several papers spread on the desk and hopefully appeared busy. James dropped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed as he set the tea on the desk in an uncluttered spot. "Just as you like it."

Teddy grabbed at the tea and took a gulp with a mumbled, "Thanks." James squeezed again and returned to his seat. Teddy tried to focus on work and ignore the sound of James humming while he scratched away at a document.

"Ah, James?" he asked finally. "Why are all of these products so...?" He flushed, looking at the list he had compiled. "Well..."

"Erotic?" James asked with a smirk. Teddy nodded and kept a firm grip on his hair. Brown, stay brown, he thought adamantly. "Uncle George wanted a line of adult products after the flavoured massage oils sold so quickly," James explained. "I'm particularly fond of the Fizzy Britches Edible Underpants. I've not had to try the Instant Erection Imperials." James grinned.

Teddy blushed and swallowed hard. Sour Hummer-bugs, Titillating Tablets, Cherry Lube Cordials, and Forbidden Fruits. He pulled at the collar of his robes, wondering if the room had grown warmer.

"Feel free to take off your fancy robes, Teddy," James commented. "I've seen you in nothing but a towel, remember?"

"When we were children!" Teddy said. He pulled a file toward him. Pheromone Fizzies. Honestly.

"You've developed modesty since then?" James asked and chuckled.

Teddy glared at him and intentionally stood up to shrug off his outer robes. Beneath them, he wore Muggle jeans and a t-shirt.

"Much better," James said decisively. Teddy tossed his robes over another chair and sat down to focus on the properties of the sweets.

"James, what do Fairy Fancies do, exactly? The 'effects' page is missing," Teddy asked, flipping through papers absently.

James leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his head, a movement that pulled his shirt taut and emphasized his flat abdomen. "Basically, it eliminates homophobia and makes one more receptive to advances from someone of the same sex," James explained.

Teddy stared at him. "Do they work?"

James laughed and nodded. "We gave one to Uncle Ron at the last Ministry party."

Teddy tried not to look horrified. "And what happened?"

"Well, he nearly made out with Ernest Dumbarton, until Aunt Hermione dragged him off by the ear."

Teddy burst out laughing. "I'm surprised Ron hasn't killed George by now."

"Uncle George bought him a Chudley Cannons autographed Snitch after that incident. It should be listed there under 'Tests' on page six. Would you like to try one?" James added guilelessly.

Teddy's head jerked up in surprise. "What? I'm not homophobic! Besides," Teddy added, "I certainly don't want to be your test subject!" As soon as he said it, he realized it was possibly a lie.

James pouted slightly, a look that made Teddy stare at him in amazement. James was far too grown up for that expression to be effective. And yet, it was.

"Pity," James said. "I was hoping you would want to try out the Kissing Kremes."

Teddy tried not to look panicked, but his hair must have given him away, because James laughed. "Violet suits you, Teddy."

"Wha... what... What does it do?" Teddy cursed himself for stuttering like a schoolboy. "The Kissing Kreme?"

"Nothing much, really," James explained. "It just sort of... enhances... a kiss."

Teddy's brow wrinkled. "How can you enhance a kiss?" He knew better than to ask, but his curiosity was too great. And besides, it was his job to ask.

James leaned forward and opened his desk drawer. "There's no way to explain, is there?" James said. "You'll just have to try it for yourself." With that, James pulled a red-cellophane wrapped sweet from the drawer and tossed it to him.

Teddy carefully unwrapped the sweet, which looked innocuous enough, chocolate-covered with two linked Ks in pink icing.

 

"Don't I need...?" Teddy started, but James snorted.

"Oh come on, Teddy. It's not going to kill you. Just try it."

Teddy glared at him and popped the thing into his mouth, acting before his common sense caught up. What the hell was he doing? Weasley products had not been known to kill, but they were rarely considered safe under the best of circumstances. He nearly spat it out, but the smug look on James' face stopped him. It was delicious, with a fruity cream flavour he couldn't place.

Teddy finished chewing and swallowed. He felt no different. James grinned at him. "Well, what does it do?" Teddy asked.

"Nothing at all. Until you kiss someone." James' grin turned positively predatory and he got to his feet.

Teddy stood up and watched as James approached. His mind was whirling. It would just be a stupid kiss. A clinical test. Nothing more.

"Ready, Teddy?" James asked, standing too close for comfort, but not touching him.

"Oddly enough, that never becomes funny," Teddy said dryly.

James laughed and then kissed him.

‘Enhanced,’ thought Teddy in bemusement as James nibbled lightly at his lower lip. He felt it only fair to do the same, so he sucked gently on James' upper lip, tasting a hint of something sweet. James retaliated by gliding his tongue over the curve of Teddy's top lip, urging him to open up. Teddy felt short of breath.

He gasped and James accepted it as an invitation, plundering Teddy's mouth and sending tongues of fire licking through his veins.

‘Definitely enhanced!’ thought Teddy wildly as his fingers curled in James' shirt, holding on to keep his knees from buckling. Teddy could not remember ever feeling a kiss all the way to his toes, before. Part of it was the magical sweet; the rest was surely James.

Teddy kissed him far longer than was either prudent or experimental. He could hardly stand when James finally pulled away. James looked just as dazed as he felt, which was a nice change from the smug confidence.

James smiled crookedly. He touched Teddy's hair. "Lavender," he said. "Very pretty."

Teddy staggered backward and sat heavily in the chair. James didn't move and Teddy looked up at him, wondering if he should kiss him again.

Only as a test, naturally. To see if the effects worked for more than one kiss. "Excellent product," Teddy said huskily.

James flushed and looked away. He coughed. "Um... about that..."

Teddy's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"There are no Kissing Kremes. I made that up so I could kiss you."